Grief on the Go: 5 Ways Nurses Can Manage Grief When Time is Limited

By Melissa Mills, MHA, BSN, RN

The phone call still echoes in my mind – “The patient is a 31-year-old female, end-stage breast cancer, actively dying. Home with family, two young children, recent divorce.' As evening shift team leader for a home hospice agency, I knew this wasn't just another patient. It was a mirror reflecting a life too close to my own. 

A 40-minute drive later, I stepped into a home thick with grief. A little girl, no more than six, lay beside her mother in a hospital bed in the living room, already mourning. In her eyes, I saw my own daughter. Tears burned, but there was no time for them. My role – strength, guidance, education, and control. I spent five hours, which felt like a lifetime, helping this family navigate through their worst day. 

When the funeral home took her away, I finally allowed the tears to fall, alone in my car on the way to the next patient. Grief on the go. It's a nurse's reality, a stark reminder that we must find ways to process, even when we can't pause. Let's explore those ways.

5 Ways to Navigate Grief While Working

When stepping away isn't an option, you must develop strategies to manage grief in the moment. These techniques help us navigate challenging shifts and days until we can find more substantial time for processing. Here are five practical approaches you can use when grief happens but time is limited.

Acknowledge and Validate Your Feelings

In the immediate aftermath of loss, acknowledging your emotions is paramount. Allow yourself to feel grief without judgment. Recognize the spectrum of emotions—sadness, disbelief, anger—that arise. Once you've internally validated your feelings, seek out a trusted colleague. Sharing your experience can significantly aid in processing the loss.

Practice Mindful Moments of Reflection

Processing grief on the fly demands brief but impactful mindfulness techniques. Visualize a tranquil emotional space or engage in short meditations during breaks. Even a moment of pause can replenish your emotional reserves, providing a brief respite from the intensity which can allow you to finish your shift with ease.

Find Support Within Your Team

Shared experiences create potent bonds. Peer support and debriefing sessions allow for collective processing, replenishing compassion, and preventing burnout. Take a moment of silence to process the loss and honor the patient and your work, care, and compassion. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Don't hesitate to ask for assistance.

Set Boundaries and Protect Your Energy

Proactive self-care and boundary-setting are essential for managing grief. Maintain your compassion and empathy reserves by prioritizing rest, a balanced diet, and healthy professional boundaries. Avoid overextending yourself at work and home while you process your grief. Know when to request a lighter assignment, a moment to step away, or time off to rejuvenate.

Focus on the Meaning and Purpose of Your Work

Reflect on the positive impact of your care on patients and their families. Consider the connections you forged and the comfort you provided during their journey. Reconnect with your "why"—the reasons you chose nursing as your profession. These reflections can bolster your resilience and help you navigate challenging shifts.

Finding Resilience and Hope

Nursing is a profession that demands both strength and vulnerability. Navigating grief is an integral part of our journey. By prioritizing self-care, setting boundaries, seeking support, practicing mindfulness, and reconnecting with your purpose, you can find resilience in the face of loss. Remember, you are not alone. Share other coping strategies you use in the comments and support one another through this shared experience.

Melissa Mills isn't just a speaker—she's a passionate advocate for nurses and healthcare improvement. She brings a unique blend of hands-on clinical experience and sharp leadership insights to every presentation. Her dynamic style and deep understanding of today's healthcare professionals' challenges and opportunities make her a compelling and engaging speaker. Melissa is on a mission to empower nurses to use their voices to drive positive change within the healthcare system.